Friday, January 29, 2010

Ash borer responsible for MA senate election, MN gov not seeking third term?; St. Paul, MN

On a pitch, a ride, free beauty and more ... - "You read it here first: The emerald ash borer, a nasty invasive insect that is wrecking our ash-tree canopy, was responsible for Gov. Tim Pawlenty's decision not to seek a third term as governor. The news that the borer was boring in on Minnesota was followed quickly by the gov's announcement. The fact that there is absolutely no evidence linking the two has not stopped us from advancing this absurd theory.
We now note that the borer has let loose the dogs of war on St. Paul's fine boulevards, leading to a city decision to bring out the chain saws, stump grinders and replanting crews. Further, it is our wholly unsupported contention that the borers, emboldened by their successes, sent chewing teams to Massachusetts. That triggered a statewide panic, which convinced normally Democratic Bay Staters that they needed to vote Republican, upsetting the bid for national health care, which the emerald ash borer-lobby feared would have led to increased funding for ash-tree removal.
Thus it is the dreaded ash borers that are responsible for the upheaval in Washington, just as they were in Minnesota. Again, you read it here first.
Beware the borer!"

No comments:

Post a Comment

We welcome your comments provided they are not Anonymous. Anonymous comments will not be posted.